The hardest thing I'm finding is to lean on you when I'm frustrated, tired and upset. It's times like these I almost feel like I could relate to Christ when He cried out 'Father, Father, why have you foresaken me?' Although I know that you haven't abandoned me, sometimes it feels like you have, and I need to remind myself that your silence doesn't reflect abandonment (I suppose that just means that I really struggle with issues of abandonment then, huh?). I want to be able to give this all to you and move on with a smile on my face and joy in my heart, but sometimes it feels like the least possible thing to do.
I do owe you a thank-you for giving me the knowledge on how to deal with crushes much better. Though I may struggle at times, I think that's normal. Plus, thank you for giving me the strength to have fewer crushes. I know that a lot of my crushes were more like rebounds to get over a crush that I had determined would never feel the same way, but often having that many new crushes all the time made me feel flustered, upset, and even made me question my worth sometimes. I am glad that I am no longer ruled by that lie, however.
It's still somewhat difficult to watch people be all 'couple-ish' with each other. I wonder why I can't have that, or why it's not time for me yet.
But ultimately, you are still in control, and I just have to trust in that. Thank you Lord, that even when we feel like we are alone, you are walking right there with us, guiding us still.
Love you always,
Just a Girl, Someday a Wife
1 comment:
I love you and know that your amazing someone is likely thinking these thoughts too! (just in a masculine way) :P
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