A look beneath the surface is sometimes required...

While the purpose of this blog is that I remain completely anonymous, in my absence, I've come to realize that maybe I also need to let you see a little bit of who I am. It's hard to picture someone being real without a face or a name; but it becomes even harder when there's nothing to connect one with that person, beyond words on a page. So, I'm kind of kidnapping this from Joy over at Chocolate Chips and Vice Grips, plus, I'll admit.. I just love doing these sorts of things.

1. started your own blog
2. slept under the stars
3. played in a band (does the school recorder band in the fourth grade count?)
4. visited Hawaii
5. watched a meteor shower
6. given more to charity than you could afford to
7. been to Disney
8. climbed a mountain
9. held a praying mantis
10. sung a solo
11. bungee jumped (well sort of... at Canada's Wonderland... they have like a giant bungee swing thing)
12. visited Paris
13. watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. taught yourself an art from scratch
15. adopted a child
16. had food poisoning
17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty
18. grown your own vegetables
19. seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. slept on an overnight train
21. had a pillow fight
22. hitch hiked
23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. built a snow fort
25. held a lamb (not just any lamb either...a newborn lamb, moments after it's birth)
26. gone skinny dipping
27. run a marathon
28. ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. seen a total eclipse
30. watched a sunrise or sunset
31. hit a home run
32. been on a cruise
33. seen Niagara falls in person
34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. seen an Amish community
36. taught yourself a new language (pig-latin counts, right?)
37. had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person
39. gone rock climbing
40. seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. sung karaoke
42. seen old faithful erupt
43. bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. visited Africa ( this one is actually on my to-do list in the not-so-distant future)
45. walked on a beach by moonlight
46. been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (Okay... well sketched... but it was a beautiful sketch by a very close and lovely friend of mine who I might have stolen this list from).
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. seen the Sistine chapel in person
50. been to the top of the Eiffel tower in Paris
51. gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. kissed in the rain
53. played in the mud
54. gone to a drive-in theatre (saw Tokyo Drift and Pirates 3... it was a double-feature, and yeahhh... I'd rather not remember that night).
55. been in a movie
56. visited the great wall of china
57. started a business
58. taken a martial arts class
59. visited Russia
60. served at a soup kitchen
61. sold girl scout cookies (and I was REALLY good at it... I paid for all my girl guide camps that way)
62. gone whale watching
63. gotten flowers for no reason
64. donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. been sky diving
66. visited a concentration camp
67. bounced a check
68. flown in a helicopter
69. saved a favorite childhood toy (mostly stuffed animals, but a few other precious items.)
70. visited the Lincoln memorial
71. eaten caviar
72. pieced a quilt
73. stood in times square (it was a very epic moment... felt very surreal)
74. toured the everglades
75. been fired from a job
76. seen the changing of the guard in London
77. broken a bone (seriously, have you ever broken a toe? It hurts like no tomorrow!)
78. been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. seen the grand canyon in person (not standing by it mind you, I saw it from an airplane window on my way to Vegas)
80. published a book
81. visited the Vatican
82. bought a brand new car
83. walked in Jerusalem
84. had your picture in the newspaper (many times over actually... benefits of being a reporter and an editor)
85. kissed a stranger at midnight on new year’s eve
86. visited the white house
87. killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. had chickenpox
89. saved someone’s life (to this day, I'm still in awe that my story could do that).
90. sat on a jury (since it didn't say REAL jury... I sat on the Big Bad Wolf jury once... then took over for the defending lawyer because she couldn't do her job. I pwned that courtroom)
91. met someone famous
92. joined a book club (in grade 2, I think we all had to?)
93. gotten a tattoo
94. had a baby
95. seen the Alamo in person
96. swam in the great salt lake (and was less than fifteen feet away from being attacked by sharks)
97. been involved in a law suit
98. owned a cell phone
99. been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant

Hey Elizabeth, don't raise the drawbridge darling...

Husband;

I strongly dislike you right now. A lot. Why? Because you're taking your freaking time to walk into my life. Do you know how frustrating it is to sit here and watch just about everyone I know falling in love and starting relationships, while I wait for you?

Sometimes I wonder if waiting is the worst thing to do. Not waiting for the right guy I mean, but simply waiting. I mean, when I needed a job, had I sat around on my arse and done nothing, my job would not have just been dropped into my lap. God does what we can't do, and not everything for us.

So then is my waiting and praying, wishing and all that... is it all for naught? Am I missing what I am supposed to be doing?

Should I be telling my feelings, making myself available... all of that? But what is the point, when it's always ended in being shot down in the past?

I feel like I'm at an impass with myself. God has been staying silent on the matter when I have brought it to Him, or, if He is responding, is doing so in such a quiet voice that I am not hearing Him.

This would all be a helluva lot easier if you would just walk through my door right this second.

Seriously.

Any second now.

.....

.....

....

Or not. Either way. I really dislike you right now.

In the words of Relient K 'You know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you.'

Just a Girl, Someday a Wife