Husband,
I know it's probably not the best thing to gloat about, but right now, I feel on top of the world. It's amazing, realizing that I have all the things my classmates told me I would never have growing up. That I was too ugly, too fat, too geeky, not hot enough to ever have a guy truly into me, to ever be somebody.
I'm not famous, but I'm somebody. I'm not drop-dead gorgeous, but I know I'm attractive. And best of all? I have a smoking hot boyfriend who adores me. Who thinks I'm beautiful, sexy, funny, intelligent and LOVES the fact that I am geeky.
And you know what the greatest part is? Knowing that you'll feel that way too.
I can't deny it was hard to not agree with the predictions of peers, friends and family when the guys I was ever with treated me horribly, and those that were physically attracted to me only saw that attraction so long as I was willing to put out. When I said no, they ditched me feeling worthless, telling me I had nothing to hold a guy's attention.
But, I digress. The point is that it feels incredible to realize that I am everything they said I wasn't. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to flaunt that a little bit.
Is it wrong that I am feeling like this?
Love you always,
Just a Girl, Someday a Wife
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Where you see a map to guide me, I see no paths in sight..
Father,
It's hard to sit here and say that I understand more now about love and your will for my love than I did before. Because the truth is, I don't.
I think I have you to thank for keeping me so much more level-headed thus far than I normally am though. I know I tend to get carried away with over-analyzing and getting upset and so on and so forth.
When you're not in a relationship it's so simple to take all the things we think we know about the rules and what you want, and lay them out in a perfect little list to display what we will and will not do and what we want and do not want.
But reality is a little bit more complicated. It's harder to put all these things into a list and stick exactly to them. It's so easy to idealize and fantasize about the way things should be when you don't have anything there to set the parameters on. Not saying that what exists is any less, but rather that it's a completely different story.
Anyways, I'm not sure where I'm going with this Father, except to say that I wish there was a little more clarity when one gets involved in a relationship.
I'm sure I'll shed more light on this with less rambling when my thoughts are gathered better.
Love you daddy.
Just a Girl, Someday a Wife.
It's hard to sit here and say that I understand more now about love and your will for my love than I did before. Because the truth is, I don't.
I think I have you to thank for keeping me so much more level-headed thus far than I normally am though. I know I tend to get carried away with over-analyzing and getting upset and so on and so forth.
When you're not in a relationship it's so simple to take all the things we think we know about the rules and what you want, and lay them out in a perfect little list to display what we will and will not do and what we want and do not want.
But reality is a little bit more complicated. It's harder to put all these things into a list and stick exactly to them. It's so easy to idealize and fantasize about the way things should be when you don't have anything there to set the parameters on. Not saying that what exists is any less, but rather that it's a completely different story.
Anyways, I'm not sure where I'm going with this Father, except to say that I wish there was a little more clarity when one gets involved in a relationship.
I'm sure I'll shed more light on this with less rambling when my thoughts are gathered better.
Love you daddy.
Just a Girl, Someday a Wife.
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