Sunday, May 22, 2011

Lately the weather has been so bipolar, and consequently so have I...

Husband,

Break-ups are hard. Even when you can stay positive for the most part, the struggles still come in. I have my moments; moments when that positivity and hope for the future elude me and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

Thankfully I have a huge net of support to help me, along with a God who seems intent on making sure I walk away from this almost completely unscathed.

I'm starting to see more of the things I tried to ignore that would have made a long-term relationship with him, at the very least, uncomfortably difficult. Not to say he's a bad guy... he wasn't. He was so good to me, he was caring and he made me feel more beautiful and wanted than I've ever felt.

But there were a lot of things, starting of course with the differences in belief. As much as he was supportive of my faith it was difficult not being able to share it with him... to have a relationship with him and God.

I think in my heart I knew that it wasn't right, I just wasn't ready to let go. I'm sure there's a part of me that still isn't ready, but that will pass. I miss him. But I suppose it's normal to miss someone who you spent nearly every day for 9 months straight with, and those days you didn't, you texted all day.

There's a lot of the silly things that I'm realizing got to me about the relationship thing to. Things like, he didn't want his Facebook status changed from single, or even to say he was in a relationship with me. I want someone who's proud to be with me, and who isn't afraid of their friends and family seeing that we're together.

Do me a favour? I know they're silly things... but indulge me a bit when we're together?

Love you always and forever.

Just a girl,
Someday a Wife

3 comments:

JUST ME said...

Red Flag #1: "My Facebook status is more important than your feelings."

My most recent ex did the same thing for a while. I should have known right there and then.

Kari Ann said...

My boyfriend and I are going through a book together called "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Leslie and Eric Ludy. Only on chapter three but its already radically changing the way I view love - in particular, how God intends love to be. I would HIGHLY recommend picking up a copy.

God wants your love story. In fact, He has already given you the greatest love story there is - the relationship you have between you and Him. If you let that be the center of who you are, He will give someone to share that with in His perfect timing. Someone who loves God as much as you do. Someone who wants to grow closer to God as they grow closer to you. It should be a team effort.

You are beautiful. You are treasured. You are worthy of love. Never forget the Truth. Prayers and Hugs.

SomedayWifey said...

@Just Me - The thing is, at the time, his reasoning sounded solid...but it bugged me that he left it as single... it felt to me like he was still advertising himself as such. I didn't even care so much that we weren't 'in a relationship' on facebook... but yeah, that should have clued me in.


@Kari Ann - Thank you. Those were encouraging words. And I know that... I really should be waiting for a Christian. That's one of the things I shouldn't be willing to sacrifice, and at that point I was. But it was hard. It was a struggle that I know would have made me unhappy in the future.