Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat, we'll take the trail marked on your father's map

Husband,

Yesterday, we did our first devotional together. It was strange, and it wasn't like I expected. But it was still wonderful. It was interesting, getting to have the opportunity to see how you viewed me and how you viewed the start of our relationship.

I'm terrified though. There is a part of me that is still terrified because this journey is so new, because it is unlike anything I have ever experienced. There is a part of me that still doubts that you are the one. That doubts that we really have a future. I'm not sure whether that's my bipolar or my fear talking, but I know this much: it's not from God. If there is one thing I have learned to trust it is that God does not ignite feelings of anxiety and terror. It is not his way.

I am certain there is a lesson in this for me. You see, I keep trying to get this all figured out. To plan out where this is going and how it will get there and what's going to happen once it gets there. I know deep down inside that that's not how God wants it to be; that He doesn't want us to know it all ahead of time so that the thrill of the path is gone.

I'm just not very good at the waiting bit. At the whole taking things one day at a time. But I'm learning. If for no-one else but for you, I am doing my best to learn.

I am doing my best to try and trust God. After all, that's what this is all about right? Trusting God that the path we are taking is the right one, that we will let Him guide us?

I wonder, do you have any fears like that? Do you sometimes get scared at the intensity of things and wonder if what you're feeling is real? Or am I alone in that?

Love you always,
Just A Girl,
Someday a wife