It's been a while since I've talked to you about all of this. I've mentioned my longings and hurts in bed time prayers and random thoughts. But I haven't gone into detail.
I want to thank you for releasing me of my feelings for him. It's so much more freeing not being tied to him in any form of thoughts or feelings. It's a relief.
But dad... it's starting to worry me that even mom seems intent on me being set up with someone. Like something must be wrong that I'm still not dating; that someone still isn't falling for me.
I am trying so hard to not jump at every potential opportunity, obsess over every potential crush. It feels strange not to have a crush right now. It's liberating. But at the same time, it does kind of scare me.
I still want so desperately to fall in love. To have a man who wants me in his life.
Father,
Hold my heart. Comfort it. Strengthen it.
Because right now... I need all those things. I need you. I need to feel your love; to feel it intensely enough that I can remember how I only need your love. Your love is enough. I know that in my head, but sometimes my heart needs that reminder.
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