I strongly dislike you right now. A lot. Why? Because you're taking your freaking time to walk into my life. Do you know how frustrating it is to sit here and watch just about everyone I know falling in love and starting relationships, while I wait for you?
Sometimes I wonder if waiting is the worst thing to do. Not waiting for the right guy I mean, but simply waiting. I mean, when I needed a job, had I sat around on my arse and done nothing, my job would not have just been dropped into my lap. God does what we can't do, and not everything for us.
So then is my waiting and praying, wishing and all that... is it all for naught? Am I missing what I am supposed to be doing?
Should I be telling my feelings, making myself available... all of that? But what is the point, when it's always ended in being shot down in the past?
I feel like I'm at an impass with myself. God has been staying silent on the matter when I have brought it to Him, or, if He is responding, is doing so in such a quiet voice that I am not hearing Him.
This would all be a helluva lot easier if you would just walk through my door right this second.
Seriously.
Any second now.
.....
.....
....
Or not. Either way. I really dislike you right now.
In the words of Relient K 'You know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you.'
Just a Girl, Someday a Wife
