He said, "I hate this place. I miss your smile. I miss your face. I wrote a song. Girl, I wrote a song."

My handsome prince,

I can't say with certainty that I've found you. But I have a feeling. A feeling that I can't shake. One that every time we're near, every time we touch, every time we look into each other's eyes is so overwhelming that I can't deny it's there.

I know it's not hormones, and I know it's not just the feelings that come with a new romance. Those are there too, but this... this is different.

I know that if this is it, it's God's hand that has brought us together. Either way, God brought us together... there's too much that could be considered 'chance' for it not to be God.

It has something to do with the level of comfort I have. I've never slid into being this comfortable with someone, especially not this quickly. It's not just comfort in being physically beside one another, but in being part of your life. It just fits.

I'm fully ready to admit I could be wrong. After all, this is so soon, so very soon. But I don't think I'm going to be wrong. Too much is falling into place. Too many things match up.

I think this really is the start of that journey, the start of the path being cut to the day where you and I join in marriage, where I become yours and you become mine. It's going to be a long journey, but that's okay. Part of the magic is walking that path together and in God.

Just so you know though, this is the only time I'm going to mention this, until I know for sure. Getting it out helps me to not think on it too much, because you and I both know that when I think on things too much, good or bad, they always end up having bad results.

You are everything I could have ever wanted, and I know that as we take our journey together in marriage, that every day I continue to fall in love with you again and again. I can't wait for that day, that moment, when I do know without a doubt that it is you and that I am in love.

Until then, I'm going to keep trusting in God, and keep my heart protected as much as possible. Because if this isn't you, I don't want you to have to pick up the pieces of a broken heart because I was irresponsible.

I love you so much more than you can ever imagine.

Just a Girl,
Someday a Wife

the dust has only just begun to form crop circles in the carpet

Father;

Love is a crazy thing. Not to say that I'm linking what's going on right now with being in love, but it is a step towards that final goal is it not?

It's crazy because there's so much about love that you have to be cautious of, both for yourself and for the other person. And it's dangerous because if you are not firm in who you are, it can take you and throw you over a cliff, left dangling for life and not really knowing which direction is the safest to move in.

That security in oneself seems to be something that many of us struggle to find. It's been one of my biggest stumbling points for years. But of course, you know that already, Dad. You've known I would struggle with that before I was even born.

Sometimes I want to blame you for it. Blame you for all the short relationships where I've been left for someone better, or where I'm pretty sure I was cheated on because I wasn't willing to give up enough. Sometimes, I want to scream and yell and accuse you of enjoying watching me go through that kind of pain time and time again.

But of course, it's not your fault. You didn't make me date those guys, and you certainly didn't tell me to dive in head first without keeping any barriers around my heart. You didn't teach me that my worth was measured by who wanted me and how long they wanted me for.

I'm working on trying to break that line of thinking, but Daddy, I don't think I can fully crush it without you. I'm learning to roll with the punches and not take them personally. To understand that if things don't work out, it doesn't mean I'm worthless. But that fear still haunts at the edge of my mind. That's where you come in. This battle I believe is beyond me. It's one of my weakest points, and probably the point where I will continue to be assaulted the most.

But I know, in my mind, and buried in my heart that nothing that happens is a reflection of my worth.

Help to give me the strength and to remember that every day father.

Love your daughter,
Just a Girl, Someday a wife.

Slow down, always on the run....

Husband;

I find myself in a situation once again that I always aim to avoid and constantly fail at doing so. It's been so long since I've been in it, and it's got a slightly different twist, but I find I am having trouble keeping out of the same steps that I tend to fall into so easily.

Maybe I'm just sleep deprived; maybe it's just my anxiety, but its less than a week in and already the panic is attacking me.

Have you ever been in a situation where things have moved far too fast, and when the brakes are applied, you're left wondering whether the other person is still interested, or if they've decided they're done?

It's silly really. I know it's dumb, and that I'm trying to read into things I shouldn't. It's the one thing I hate about the fact that I am still a girl. I can play it cool, I can be okay with the slow approach and just letting things kind of grow on their own time, but my mind still likes to try to convince me to react like a girl. Curse my female brain!

I'm thankful at this moment for guy friends that I can talk to openly about things like this, because it helps me calm down that panic. It levels me out and reminds me why I try not to listen to that sign of my brain in the first place.

I'm still scared... I can't lie. This is the first 'dating' experience I've had in nearly four years. While it's only been a few days, I'm really interested already. I'm scared, because I know if he pulls away, decides there's no more mutual interest, that I will be left trying to fight off the sense that something is wrong with me. I'm scared, because it's the first time in so long there's been such intense mutual interest. And I'm still scared that I'm going to end up not being good enough. It's my continuous battle. It always has been, and I really do think it's going to take you to help me break that. Not that it's your responsibility to repair my self-esteem issues, but I think it's that having never had a guy be willing to make a committment to me makes it hard for me to feel like it's possible.

I'm holding onto hope, because I know it's the only thing I can do, other than prayer. Hubby, I'm scared shitless. I really wouldn't mind getting to skip to the part where you can hug and comfort me right now.

Love you always and forever,
Just a girl, someday a wife

The stars lean out to kiss you as violet eyes do miss you.

Husband;

I've always wondered what it's like to be a man when it comes to getting interested in someone. For us women, it's full of butterflies and gushy feelings, fantasizing and weak knees. It's the desire to see and talk to the guy day and night; and having to hold back and fight against those instincts that are corrupted by the excitement of mutual attraction.

I've always wondered if guys feel the same at the start of a relationship. Do you feel that same need to be around, just learning as much about me as I do about you? I have a hunger not just for your presence, but to be able to find out who you are; to get to know your quirks and oddities, faults and positive traits.

I have to try so hard not to run away with my emotions and get ahead of myself. My ability to look at things realistically, and the past help with that, but it's a constant battle against what my mind is trying to tell me to do. Thankfully, I have a little help with that these days.

Are you the same way though? Does the prospect of a relationship keep pecking at your mind, trying to get you to figure out where it's going?

It's so much worse when it's so early on. I have to find this balance between rushing headfirst into feelings and what my heart wants, and remembering that it is still early and a lot of what my heart wants is based on chemistry, lust, and the excitement of a mutual connection.

I've set aside a few rules for myself when entering into the first stages, just to make sure I don't jump too fast.

1. Keep day-dreaming to a bare minimum, and keep reminding myself that it's just to get these damn daydreams exhausted so that they stop.
2. No listening to mushy love songs.
3. Avoid chick flicks/romance at all costs.
4. Keep expectations at a bare minimum. The less expectations I have, the less I could get hurt, should this not turn out.
5. PRAY all the time about it.
6. Don't rush things.

I'd love to hear what your level headed list would be like. Maybe one day I'll get to know.

Love you always, forever and beyond.

Just a girl, Someday a wife.

You treat me like I'm a princess; I'm not used to liking that...

Lord,

It's times like these where I wish with all my heart that I had someone to come home to, someone to wrap his arms around me and whisper in my ear that he loves me after I've had a rough day. I know that wouldn't really be good for me right now, and I trust your reasons for it. But that doesn't take away the longing or the pain of lacking it.

It kind of weirds me out that guys don't show interest in me generally, but when they do, they're the types that either will only admit their attraction to me anonymously (thank you Honesty Box on Facebook for not helping IN THE SLIGHTEST!). Either that, or they're MADLY in love with me, but the second I want time to consider, they're with another girl (and I mean literally... as in, it's happened in a matter of a DAY!)

I've got to keep holding onto hope though. I've witnessed enough people diving into relationships that they know are going nowhere, pouring everything they have into it, then walking away broken and shattered. I don't want that. I don't need that.

Divorce is not an option when I get married, so why should shattering someone's complete being just to have a relationship be an option either?

Still. It wouldn't suck to have someone there to love or be loved by.

Please help me not to lose hope or let the obsession of falling in love take over all else in my life.

Love always,

Just a Girl, Someday a Wife