I will solve your mystery, make it ancient history.

Hello Dear,

Firstly, there's a few more things that I added to the list after thinking/praying about it more.

1.     Must have a great sense of humour.

2.     Must laugh at my jokes.

3.     Must think I’m at my cutest when I look my worst (or at least tell me that)

4.     Must be supportive of my goals and pursuit of career (but also able to tell me when I’m taking on too much or dreaming to the point its affecting reality).

5.     Can handle me at my crazy moments and still love me despite it all.

6.     Wants to have a relationship built with God

7.     Be willing to pray and study the Bible together.

8.     Be willing to watch chick-flicks/rom coms with me.

Secondly. I realized something last night as I was rocking out by myself. I don't want to be the kind of girl who gets lost in a relationship. I tried that already, and it left me often feeling like something was missing in my life. I need you to be the kind of person who not only likes me as I am, but who likes me for being me. I need you to be the kind of person who's not embarrassed by my liking going to movies by myself when no-one can go with me, or geeking out hardcore over the latest comic book movie. I need someone who can admire the fact that I can stand at a concert by myself and dance like no-one's watching because having people around shouldn't influence my capability to have fun.

But I also hope you're someone who can do those things with me. Someone who wants to do those things with me.

I want to be able to be spontaneous with you. To go on random adventures, to be able to act like idiots because we don't care who's watching.

I know you're probably all these things. That you love me because I am me and that we mesh well together. I guess right now I'm just frustrated because it seems like no matter how much a guy likes who I am, I always have to let go of who I am when I am with them. And I don't want that.

But truth is, I know I don't really have to worry about you. Because God knows both our needs, and He's not going to stick either one of us with someone who would make us compromise who we are.

I just wish He wasn't taking His sweet time in bringing you to me.

Love you a million red m&m's,

Just a Girl, Someday a Wife

(50 bonus points my dear, if you actually know where some of my sign-offs are referenced from ;) )

The List.

Husband,

I've finally sat down and done it. I've written 'The List'. I'm putting it here to help keep myself accountable, but also because it will be interesting to see how well you match up to the list. Don't worry if you don't... if there are things that differ, it just means my tastes changed ;)

Love you!

Just a Girl, Someday a Wife

THE LIST

1.     Must be a Christian. Cannot afford to compromise this again as it makes things too difficult.

2.     Will like being involved with each other’s friends.

3.     Family is important, especially in being involved with each other’s.

4.     Outgoing. Likes to just go out and do random things.

5.     Outdoorsy. Likes to camp, hike, just hang out at the lake.

6.     Loves music. Preferably a variety of music, but as long as it’s not solely country, hip hop, rap or R&B I’m content.

7.     Willing to change his facebook status. It’s silly, I know, but indulge me a little. It’s not like I’m high-maintenance.

8.     Geeky. At least a little geeky. I don’t know what I’d do if I was with a guy who couldn’t geek out.

9.     Taller than me. I’m short enough as it is, I couldn’t handle someone shorter.

10.  Is adventurous. And random.

11.  Can be completely silly or totally serious.

12.  Has his own car/license.

13.  Able to support himself.

14.  Has goals for the future.

15.  Likes to sing, even if he can’t sing well.

16.  Is good with finances (since I’m TERRIBLE at them).

17.  Is a good communicator. A good relationship requires a lot of communication.

18.  In tune with his emotions.

19.  Somewhat sensitive, but not overly so.

20.  Doesn’t smoke.

21.  Doesn’t smoke weed or other drugs.

22.  Not a heavy drinker.

23.  Loves me endlessly!

We like the same things and I like your style Its not a secret; why do you keep it? I'm just sitting on the shelf

Husband,

Do you ever wonder where I am at this very moment? Do you ever get frustrated that I am not there or that you have to wait longer?

I get that way sometimes. Especially when all my friends are getting married around me, and I don't even have you in the frame somewhere.

I know it's kind of mean to say, but I kind of hope you do feel the same way sometimes, so that you can understand what it is I'm going through... so that I'm not going through it alone.

I still need to write that list. I've been procrastinating because it's a tedious task, and because it means letting go of it and trusting God to meet it once it's written.

Sometimes I still need to fight that nagging feeling that you aren't out there at all, or that I'm not good enough for the kind of man I want. I know it's not true, but it is still hard to remember that sometimes.

Maybe getting that list written out will help.

I wonder if you ever wrote out a list for the things I needed to be?

Love you always.
Just a Girl, Someday a Wife

If you're going to marry me, you better like Disney World.

Husband,

I've been a little slow when it comes to actually writing out that list, thanks in large part to the fact that I'm not really energized these days. But that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it. In fact, I pour over different things that should be on that list every single day.

Today I concluded three things that are must haves.

#1 - You have to be willing to go to Walt Disney World for our honeymoon. I don't care if you think it's silly. I love Disney World. And besides, you don't want to take me anywhere else because I won't end up paying attention to you. This isn't a bribe. I've been to Disney enough times that it's not new. So enjoying it with you would be a new and exciting adventure. If you take me anywhere else, I can promise you that I would end up completely geeking out and getting all 'history buff' on you. I would be far more interested in the historical landmarks and exploring than focusing on you.

I'm sorry. It's not you, it really is me. I can't help it; I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff.

Besides... I REALLY want to go to Disney World for our honeymoon (and of course, we'd have to visit Universal too).

#2 - You must be a geek. If not full geek, at least partial. I need a man who is capable of completely geeking out with me, and playing video games or doing other nerdy stuff. I need someone who will understand my geek references and enjoy watching my sci-fi movies and shows with me.

#3 - You need to have good taste in music and that good taste must include liking a variety. I don't care if you prefer one genre over the others (heck, I totally prefer alt rock and indie), but you've got to love listening to the other stuff too. It's very difficult to date a guy who won't let me rock out to Daft Punk or blast Black Eyed Peas and Cascada once in a while.

Of course, listing these qualities to you probably won't do much, because by the time you read this I'll have already found out if you have them or not. Clearly these aren't dealbreakers... but if it has turned out that you are lacking these qualities and are laughing at me right now as you read this, I can promise you... do any of these three things, and you'll make me the happiest person ever.

But I hope you realize we'll be going to Disney World every few summers. You can blame that one on my dad... he's the one who had us fall in love with doing that.

P.S. Just thought I'd through it in there.... you better be willing to change your facebook status to show in a relationship with me. I want to know you're totally for me, damnit!

Love you always,

Just a Girl, Someday a Wife

A look beneath the surface is sometimes required...

While the purpose of this blog is that I remain completely anonymous, in my absence, I've come to realize that maybe I also need to let you see a little bit of who I am. It's hard to picture someone being real without a face or a name; but it becomes even harder when there's nothing to connect one with that person, beyond words on a page. So, I'm kind of kidnapping this from Joy over at Chocolate Chips and Vice Grips, plus, I'll admit.. I just love doing these sorts of things.

1. started your own blog
2. slept under the stars
3. played in a band (does the school recorder band in the fourth grade count?)
4. visited Hawaii
5. watched a meteor shower
6. given more to charity than you could afford to
7. been to Disney
8. climbed a mountain
9. held a praying mantis
10. sung a solo
11. bungee jumped (well sort of... at Canada's Wonderland... they have like a giant bungee swing thing)
12. visited Paris
13. watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. taught yourself an art from scratch
15. adopted a child
16. had food poisoning
17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty
18. grown your own vegetables
19. seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. slept on an overnight train
21. had a pillow fight
22. hitch hiked
23. taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. built a snow fort
25. held a lamb (not just any lamb either...a newborn lamb, moments after it's birth)
26. gone skinny dipping
27. run a marathon
28. ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. seen a total eclipse
30. watched a sunrise or sunset
31. hit a home run
32. been on a cruise
33. seen Niagara falls in person
34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. seen an Amish community
36. taught yourself a new language (pig-latin counts, right?)
37. had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person
39. gone rock climbing
40. seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. sung karaoke
42. seen old faithful erupt
43. bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. visited Africa ( this one is actually on my to-do list in the not-so-distant future)
45. walked on a beach by moonlight
46. been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (Okay... well sketched... but it was a beautiful sketch by a very close and lovely friend of mine who I might have stolen this list from).
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. seen the Sistine chapel in person
50. been to the top of the Eiffel tower in Paris
51. gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. kissed in the rain
53. played in the mud
54. gone to a drive-in theatre (saw Tokyo Drift and Pirates 3... it was a double-feature, and yeahhh... I'd rather not remember that night).
55. been in a movie
56. visited the great wall of china
57. started a business
58. taken a martial arts class
59. visited Russia
60. served at a soup kitchen
61. sold girl scout cookies (and I was REALLY good at it... I paid for all my girl guide camps that way)
62. gone whale watching
63. gotten flowers for no reason
64. donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. been sky diving
66. visited a concentration camp
67. bounced a check
68. flown in a helicopter
69. saved a favorite childhood toy (mostly stuffed animals, but a few other precious items.)
70. visited the Lincoln memorial
71. eaten caviar
72. pieced a quilt
73. stood in times square (it was a very epic moment... felt very surreal)
74. toured the everglades
75. been fired from a job
76. seen the changing of the guard in London
77. broken a bone (seriously, have you ever broken a toe? It hurts like no tomorrow!)
78. been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. seen the grand canyon in person (not standing by it mind you, I saw it from an airplane window on my way to Vegas)
80. published a book
81. visited the Vatican
82. bought a brand new car
83. walked in Jerusalem
84. had your picture in the newspaper (many times over actually... benefits of being a reporter and an editor)
85. kissed a stranger at midnight on new year’s eve
86. visited the white house
87. killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. had chickenpox
89. saved someone’s life (to this day, I'm still in awe that my story could do that).
90. sat on a jury (since it didn't say REAL jury... I sat on the Big Bad Wolf jury once... then took over for the defending lawyer because she couldn't do her job. I pwned that courtroom)
91. met someone famous
92. joined a book club (in grade 2, I think we all had to?)
93. gotten a tattoo
94. had a baby
95. seen the Alamo in person
96. swam in the great salt lake (and was less than fifteen feet away from being attacked by sharks)
97. been involved in a law suit
98. owned a cell phone
99. been stung by a bee
100. Ridden an elephant