Just so you know, I'm still in your sweater boy.

Husband,

I am so incredibly frustrated right now. Frustrated beyond belief. I know in my heart, I desire to pursue things the way I have stated, but it does not seem to make feelings and all that stuff go away.

I want to be in your arms right now, hearing you tell me I'm beautiful and that you love me. Instead, I am alone on a Friday night, reading blogs and listening to worship music to lift my spirits.

I wonder if you are in the same position as me right now, just wanting to bang your head off the wall because you are so stressed out about this whole thing.

There are times I want to scream screw it all, and just start trying to date for the heck of it, to get that filling of intimacy through that way. But of course, I know that is dumb, and that I would merely end up kicking myself in the end. Only God can provide that fulfillment.

And on a kind of positive note, its the fact that this desire for marriage and a family burns so strongly in me that keeps me hoping it is not too far off.

But seriously. If you are actually present somewhere in my life at this time, and just aren't making a move, don't be surprised if I totally freak on you later on for it.

It's not easy, being nearly 24 and watching so many people I know getting married... and feeling like somehow, I've been left behind. I think it scares me too, knowing that there aren't really any prospects around me. But I have to trust in the Lord, I need to rely on Him.

I love you so much, and I hope you never doubt that.

Just a Girl, Someday a Wife